When it comes to asking girls out today, the pressure has been on men higher than it ever has been before. Why? Because women's standards have changed, and they now expect the best of the best in everything, especially in their men. This can make the very thought of asking her out make you sweat more than you do when you're trying to land a million-dollar contract. Would knowing the top reasons she will say no to you ahead of time help make this process a little easier? Of course it would, so here they are.
- Your standards are low. Women can read when men have low standards. It shows up in the subtlest of ways. Do you refer to her as "sexy" or do you refer to her by her given name?
Marin Battista, CEO and founder of #Dating with Dignity, says that women spend more time ruling men out than ruling them in today, and it is because of this reason. Set your standards high, so that she needs to meet them as well, and you will charm her into a yes almost before you have even asked.
- You mentioned your life-sized Boba Fett that adorns your living room. Women today want to date real men, not real men who haven't grown up yet. We aren't saying that's you, just that this is what she will think if this, or any other action figurine or video game memorabilia, enters your first conversation with her. Unless you met her at Comic Con, file this part of your life into the part that you want her to grow to love, eventually. Just not before the first date.
- You don't have a job. If you are regularly being turned down for dates and you are also not so gainfully unemployed, there is a strong chance the two matters are related. You may be in a tough position due to the economic climate; just make sure that you can show her you are motivated and working toward something that says couch potato isn't your dream lifestyle.
- She doesn't think you are interested in what she wants. If you approach her with "Hey, sexy" after midnight, and she is looking for a long-term relationship, Marin Battista says that's why she's not saying yes. She can gauge, faster than you can say "date," where your interest level is. If she is saying no, then it is possible that you haven't communicated what would be an ideal experience to her. If you are still interested, try changing your approach to see if it changes her perspective.
- She's just not that into you. This could be for a variety of reasons. She could be taken, involved with something too complicated to include a third party, could be getting over someone and not interested in getting into anything else, and maybe she just doesn't like you. Maybe she will change her mind one day, and maybe she won't.
Don't take it personally because it could be one of one million things, and because you don't yet have a relationship with her, then it in all probability has nothing to do with you at all.
As easy as it is to take rejection personally, she is saying no for her own reasons and just needs the space to do that. Remember that if there is a chance you will ever see her again, how you leave this conversation will set the tone for the next. Get nasty, irritable and mean about being rejected, and you can pretty much watch your chances with her ever again fly out the window.
The Bottom Line:
The bottom line is that when it comes to what women want in dating, men highly overrate and over-think this. As savvy and gifted as they are, women want the same things that men want. They simply want someone who is real, communicates well and has a solid sense of direction in life. If you are struggling in some of these areas, make some tweaks to turn your life in the direction your next date will be excited to hear about. Sometimes it is a small matter of simply changing the way you communicate with her when you are trying to get her attention. If you want her to say "yes" the next time, set yourself up in such a way that she won't be able to give "no" for an answer.